Personal Growth Archives -

Updated on February 15, 2018January 31, 2018BLOG

4 Small changes that can lead to a better you.

What is your best self? What does it look like?

What keeps you from living it? What’s getting in your way?

These are some of the questions I was asking myself at the end of 2017.

I speak a lot on being a better you…it’s my own motto and is something I’m passionate talking about because let’s be honest, people get stuck and oftentimes, it’s because of our own limiting beliefs, thoughts and habits that get in our way when it comes to being our best selves. And unfortunately, it’s something I don’t hear enough of in today’s culture.

Here’s a quick story…at the end of 2017, I realized I wasn’t at my best. Something was off and had been missing. Physically, I was heavier than I usually like even though I work out just about every day and eat pretty healthy. And I knew it, but I wasn’t doing anything about it. But when someone I respect mentioned I was starting to look a little soft. The motivation to change suddenly appeared before me. For an athlete, this wasn’t something I wanted to hear and it affirmed my own thoughts. Sure, I could have taken offense to it, but why? It was true and I knew it and the only person that could do something about it was me. It was my own habits that got it me there in the first place after all. Now don’t get me wrong, I hadn’t put on a massive amount of weight, just enough to feel it and that others were starting to notice. So it was time. I decided to get focused and make some changes to my daily habits.

Lots of times, I’ve learned the best results you achieve are a result of small changes made to your daily life. Knowing this, I decided to apply this wisdom to my diet and eating habits.

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions because without a change in mindset, it’s just a wish and you often quit after a few short weeks. I believe in changing your mindset and daily habits and that starts by raising your self-awareness and how you think. I had to ask myself what was getting in my way? What habits do I need to change? What habits do I need to form? When I’m at my best self, what am I doing on a daily basis? What goals do I need to achieve? What does my best self look like?

So for January, I gave myself a goal to drop 10 lbs, and in a matter of 4 weeks, I’ve managed to drop them and get back to a healthier and leaner me. I did it just by changing my eating habits and tracking what I was putting into my body and when. Has it be tough? It’s been challenging. Have I enjoyed doing the 2-day workouts or the 6am workouts after pulling a night shift? No, not always, but has it been worth it? Absolutely. Because I’m just not dropping weight, I am getting focused and that is my word for this year. Focus. I know myself and I know when I’m focused and consumed by something, I thrive. And when I’m not focused, I’m average which leads to being stuck grabbing at anything or everything that helps me get moving. And let’s be honest, who likes being average?

Now that I’m making progress on my physical health and personal goals, I’ve began asking myself, where else can I make some small changes in my daily habits. What other areas could use some improvement?

Writing and sharing content is one of them, so I’ll be writing more content this year. And eventually, will be doing more live video work with some of my mentors to teach and share more content on leadership and personal growth. I learned a long time ago, I love to lead and coach others. Coaching and mentoring others is something I love to do especially when it comes to leadership, mindsets, personal growth and the like.

But to get there, first starts with raising your own self awareness. To grow to our potential, we have to discard the mistaken beliefs that prevent us from moving forward. It’s easy to have good intentions – heck that’s what new year’s resolutions are. But without being intentional about achieving them, what’s the point? Whatever results you want to achieve this year, ask yourself where you can be intentional in your daily activities – whether it’s in your business, home or personal life. My mentor, John C. Maxwell in his book, Intentional Living said it best, “Intentional living brings you daily satisfaction and continual rewards for merely working to make a difference – small or large – in the lives of others. Intentional living is the bridge that will lead you to a life that matters. Good intentions won’t get you there”.

So my question for you is where can you make some small changes to your daily life? Or in your business? Do you have a deliberate plan for your growth this year? What does growth even look like for you this year? To help answer those questions and get you in moving in a forward motion, here are 4 things I recommend doing.

Raise your self-awareness. Get a journal and start writing down descriptions of your best self. Answer these thought provoking questions.
Design a growth plan – What needs to change? What habits need to form? What boundaries need to be planted? Give yourself a date to start accomplishing them.
Get Accountability – Once you’ve written everything down, next, starting talking about them – share them with your trusted friends or accountability partners or your coach. The more you focus on something, the more you begin to start moving towards it.
Get a Coach – whether its for your organization or for your own self improvement. Sitting down and speaking to a coach has made significant difference in my professional and personal life. Have you ever given yourself permission to explore your inner most thoughts or beliefs? One of the core competencies of coaching is creating awareness. Doing so can help you be aware of what’s getting in your way and what you need to change.

I hope this has been helpful for you. If you’re unsure or don’t know where or how to start, contact me today. If you’re looking for a coach or would like to learn more about being intentional versus just having good intentions, I’m offering a free introductory offer for a coaching session for the month of February.

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December 7, 2017December 7, 2017BLOG

Defining Moments – responding when your awareness is heightened

Responding to awareness is usually dependent on your maturity as a leader. From a biblical perspective, I believe God always wants to connect with us so he can lead us to be a better example of him, so we can be a better example to others. But ultimately, I believe he wants us to living out our purpose.

Having purpose and knowing it can be a powerful thing, but it’s something I’ve learned that some people don’t think a lot about. Some people don’t even know how to respond to the question when asked what their purpose is.

But, why is awareness so important and what’s it got to do with our purpose?

Awareness brings clarity. I recently read the Deeper Path by Kary Oberbrunner and it his book, he wrote about clarity and shared it is an important ingredient for growth, in fact it is essential. Clarity knows where you are going, what you value and represent. It is the most accurate vision of yourself and your business. Having clarity represents your inner values as a business owner and leader. Getting there isn’t always fun or easy but it’s worth it.

Gaining awareness is one of the things I enjoy most coaching leaders on. Leaders are called to inspire and influence others because leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. John C. Maxwell writes about this in his book the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. However, if you lack clarity about your purpose or if you’re stretched too thin as leader or even as a company because you’re saying “yes” too much, it can create an unclear path and ultimately result in your being pulled in multiple directions that really don’t lead to living out your purpose. It may be fun, it may even be in your sweet spot, but it may also be leading you further away from your vision.

Being coached gives permission for you to be asked the right questions in the right way that can lead to incredible breakthroughs. Coaching is not mentoring. In order to grow deeper, whether its in your faith, in your leadership abilities or in your life, awareness has to take place. Gaining awareness isn’t always pleasant. Sometimes it takes something painful for you to have that moment or gain that “aha”. It’s not until you take the time to reflect on those moments where you can be asked those important questions. If you’re honest with yourself, you can move in the direction that’s ultimately closer to living out your purpose.

In a world that’s filled with chaos, it’s easy to allow yourself to become so consumed with the things of this world that honestly don’t matter. It’s easy to become unfocused and unclear and lose sight of your vision.

I found myself here recently, saying yes to too many things and putting myself in a position where I became stretched so thin, it was preventing me from being fully engaged or able to really give my best to every project or commitment.

After reflecting and writing down all of the projects and commitments I was working on, I had to asked myself – are these really apart of my purpose? Are they really helping me come closer to my purpose and vision or bringing me further from it? And after sitting down with my coach, it became clear that I wasn’t clear, my focus was off.

So what do you do? Have you ever found yourself in this position? What did you do?

It can be a lot easier to lead others before you lead yourself. But leading yourself is crucial if you want to lead others. I learned a long time ago that others are watching you. Earlier this year, I wrote about leading yourself and shared 4 tips to leading yourself better. But in it, I wrote about how to get out of your own way. This is why awareness is so important and why reflecting can be so powerful in your personal growth.

If you want to go deeper and become more effectively, you have to get out of your own way and get intentional about getting clear and staying focused. Write down your goals for this year and you might as well prepare for next year. Then write down all of your competing projects and commitments and ask yourself – what’s important? What has my attention? The key is to identify where you are and where you want to be. Then make the path to where you want to be.

This Friday, December 8th at 11am EST, I’m going to be going live with one of my long time mentors and fellow coaches, Sandra Goode Harrington. In it, we’re going to be sharing the process of getting clear about your goals and how we prepare each year about our goals for the following year and what we’re going to be intentional about. We’ll be taking questions so come prepared. If you’d like to join in on this free lesson, it’s free and I’ll be we’ll be hosting the live call free on Zoom. This is a free leadership series with no gimmicks or something to sell. It’s a way to share with you how to get and stay focused.

You can join from any PC, Mac, Linux, iOS or Android: https://zoom.us/j/845746512

See you on the call.

Updated on August 7, 2017May 27, 2017BLOG

Leading Self – 4 tips to leading yourself better

I’ve been doing a lot of studying lately both with my clients as well as with my own personal reflections and I’ve noticed two common themes that keeps arising:

The toughest person to lead is always yourself, and
The last person we think about leading is yourself.

If we’re honest with ourselves, I think we all would agree that sometimes we can be our own worst enemies and can often block ourselves from the success we want to achieve. We just lack the awareness of how, where, and why.

If I was to ask you, John, how often would you say you take the time to really examine yourself? What would you say? One of my mentors, John C. Maxwell in his book, Leadership Gold says, “If you don’t look at yourself realistically, you will never understand where your personal difficulties lie. And if you can’t see them, you won’t be able to lead yourself effectively”. And if you can’t lead yourself effectively, how can you really expect to lead others effectively?

Last year, I made one of the greatest and most challenging investments in myself. I hired a coach. You’re probably thinking, but John, you’re a coach, why do you need a coach? Another one of my mentors once told me, the greatest coaches and leaders have a coach. I needed one because I realized I was getting in my own way and I wanted to know where, why and how I was limiting myself from the success I wanted to achieve. You see, what I wanted to accomplish, I knew I wouldn’t be able to accomplish it on my own or with my current beliefs. I hired a coach because I couldn’t see myself effectively and my level of awareness needed to increase. When it comes to personal growth, I believe growth increases when we’re being intentional about it and we’re willing to put some skin in the game. I was giving him permission to help me explore myself. It takes an incredible amount of trust and guts to do this. It’s not for everyone. But it’s been about six months since working with him and my thinking has certainly shifted. I’ve started to understand myself more and know where my personal difficulties lie and why I wasn’t seeing the growth I wanted to achieve.

To get out of your own way and become a better leader, there are four things you should learn to help you lead yourself and others more effectively.

Learn Followership – Only a leader who has followed well knows how to lead others well. The best leaders are followers first. And the best followers make the best leaders. By learning followership, it increases your empathy and helps you to better connect with your followers. Maxwell says, “Connecting with your people becomes possible because you’ve walked in their shoes before. Good leadership requires an understanding of the world that your followers live in”.
Develop Self-Discipline – Only you can control you and only you are you responsible for your own actions and decisions. Making consistent good decisions and taking the right actions when needed and refraining from the wrong ones require a strong moral character and self-discipline. Doing otherwise, we lose control of ourselves – what we do, what we say and we miss the opportunities when they are given.
Practice Patience – Too many leaders lack the time it takes to produce something great. Everyone wants instant gratification…to be an overnight success. There are few things in life that come quickly. Becoming a leader doesn’t happen overnight. Microwavable leaders never last; it’s those leaders who are willing to let themselves cook slowly who are successful. The point is it takes time and patience. Leadership is a process that develops daily, not in a day. The point of leading isn’t to finish first; it’s to take people across the line with you. For this reason, leaders must slow their pace, learn to connect with their people and connect them to their vision. You can’t do that if you’re constantly always ahead of them, out of sight and not connecting with them.
Seek Accountability – Do you trust yourself? Do you really trust yourself? Most leaders who know themselves don’t. They can’t. Good leaders know that power can be seductive, and they understand their fallibility. To be a leader and deny this is to put yourself in real danger. Accountability isn’t just for your personal life. Not having accountability in your professional life can be a very dangerous and stupid thing. They actually often overlap; a lack of accountability in your personal life will certainly lead to problems in your professional life. Consider the number of CEOs or senior military officials who have been stripped of their command because of an extramarital affair or skimming money from an unknown account. Having accountability starts with your own willingness to seek and accept advice from others.

A quick story about accountability – when I became a Chief Petty Officer in the U.S. Coast Guard, I went through a process called Chief’s Call to Indoctrination. During this process, I met with a lot of other Chiefs and sought out their words of wisdom. One of my mentors during this process who worked directly for the Commanding Officer gave me the best advice I’ve taken with me as a leader and it really speaks to the purpose of accountability. There was a decision that was being considered that was going to negatively impact a lot of people and the Captain was going to make it. Because the Captain gave permission to the Master Chief to hold him accountable, that gave him the opportunity to call him out and hold him accountable when making decisions. Because this decision would have had a lot of adverse effects and was a really bad decision, the Master Chief was pretty blunt when speaking to him. Afterwards, I asked him, you can speak to him like that, and he said, that’s my job. Holding people to accountable isn’t supposed to be pretty or formal; it’s supposed to be real and raw. Let’s be honest. Just like I’ve given my coach permission to ask me bold questions that not many people would ever dare; giving permission to others to hold you accountable to being an effective leader requires trust and a level of bluntness. Leadership is a trust, not a right.

When you don’t take the time to inspect yourself as a leader, you open the door to becoming stuck and an ineffective leader. Maxwell writes, “The smallest crowd you will ever lead is you – but it’s the most important one. If you do that well, then you will earn the right to lead even bigger crowds”.

Questions to consider

How clearly do you see yourself? Are you aware of yourself and where you’re getting in your way? How big is the gap between your current reality and where you want to be at in your life, career, or business? Who have you given permission to hold you accountable? Where do you need to grow? Specifically?

If you would like to explore these questions further, contact me today. I have a few one on one coaching slots open right now.

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Updated on April 10, 2017April 10, 2017BLOG

7 Reasons to join a mastermind group

Are you ready to reach your potential?

Mastermind groups are relatively new to most people, even though Napoleon Hill created the concept around 75 years ago with his book, Think and Grow Rich. A mastermind group is designed to help you navigate through challenges using the collective intelligence of others.
How does a mastermind work? A group of like-minded people meet regularly to tackle challenges and problems together. They lean on each other, give advice, share connections and do business with each other when appropriate. It’s very much peer-to-peer mentoring and if you are lucky enough to get invited to one, you will most likely see a marked change in yourself and your business.

Here are 7 reasons why a mastermind might be right for you:
1. You’ll be part of an exclusive community. Joining a mastermind typically involves you being invited by the members or going through an application process. The other members need you just as much as you need them, so quality of experience and knowledge is crucial to all involved.
2. Advisement. Once you are involved in a mastermind, that feeling of “being alone” while running your business or achieving a life-long dream or goal is gone. The other members of the group turn into business advisors of sorts and vice versa.
3. Collaboration is the name of the game. You may find someone in the group that is a perfect fit to work on a project with you. Or, you may be the perfect person to help another member as well. The group works together collaboratively, to achieve more together.
4. Extend your network. Joining a mastermind expands your network exponentially and rapidly. If you are in business, you know how important your network is. By joining a mastermind, you instantly add to your network and typically gain the networks of those in the group with you.
5. New learning. Everyone in the mastermind is unique in skill, experience and connections. By interacting and sharing your challenges, it’s almost certain that someone in your mastermind will have a solution for you and you may also be able to offer a solution, connection or tactic to help another in the group.
6. Cross-promotion. When you join a mastermind, you will most likely find ways to help each other by utilizing cross promotion. Finding ways to help each other through promoting to your respective networks.
7. Think BIGGER. Being in a mastermind will truly give you a Master Mind! You can’t help but think bigger and stretch beyond your boundaries when surrounded by amazing people doing amazing things.
Masterminds are incredible and can do wonders for your business as well as for you, personally. Growing in a group is not only more effective, it’s quite a bit more fun!

Are you ready to get started?
Join me April 30th for a 5-week virtual mastermind study where we will be exploring The 15 Invaluable Laws of Leadership by John C. Maxwell. John C. Maxwell says in order to reach your potential; you must be intentional about your personal growth. In this group, you will hear directly from John Maxwell on how you can apply the time-tested and proven Laws of Growth to unleash your abilities and realize your dreams! I’m limiting the size of this group to only 15 people. You can sign up by registering below.

This training curriculum will help you understand how personal growth really works, and how you can develop yourself to become a more effective and fulfilled individual. You will learn how to build up your sense of purpose and become more successful in every area of your life. Come alongside John in your growth journey to become the person you are destined to be!

Updated on August 7, 2017March 6, 2017BLOG

Lean Into Your Potential

Just an Inch!!

Lean In – to – your potential

When you think of leaning in…what do you think of?

Immediately, I don’t think of what I’m leaning into as much as what I’m leaning out of.

That can be a little scary for some, I’m sure. But what I’ve learned and am continuing to learn is that most people simply don’t know what they don’t know because of their own lack of awareness or more commonly, they like their comfort zone where they can remain in control.

But if you lean in just an inch into your potential or your dreams, into your family, friends or even God? What would happen? What would that even look like for you to just lean into those areas in your life that will better it? That would boost your self-esteem and bring you closer to that hidden part of you that no one knows about or may even be lost right now because you haven’t given it much attention but you wish you could.

This is where I’m going to challenge you on what you don’t know and hopefully raise some awareness in this next question. What’s stopping you from leaning in?

What’s one small intentional step you could take this week to bring you closer?

It could be pain, fear, worry, etc. One of my mentors and fellow author, Kary Oberbrunner writes in his book, The Deeper Path that:

“One emotion infects us all–pain. But although pain comes naturally, dealing with it doesn’t. Many cope by masking their pain, pushing it below the surface and self-medicating it with apathy, aggression, and addictions. Unfortunately, these strategies only numb our pain and our potential, creating space between us and our purpose. Although we can’t escape pain, Oberbrunner believes that the path of recovery begins when we stop avoiding the ache and instead choose to explore, unmask, and understand our deepest wounds. The answer is not to rid our lives of pain, but to learn how to let our hurts lead us to healing”.

It’s within this discovery I’ve learned can be our greatest success and breakthrough in areas of personal growth and development. But by continuing to avoid the places that scare you or even areas where you don’t believe in yourself for whatever the reason, only allows you to grow further away from your potential and allows those fears to win.

I hope this has inspired you to take action. Remember nothing happens until you ACT. If you would like to discuss this further, contact me today. I’d love to help you think bigger and break out of yourself. You can contact me directly by clicking here.

It’s time to A.C.T!

The A stands for ACTION. What inspired action will you take today?

The C stands for CHANGE. What purposeful change will you make today?

The T stands for TEACH. What can you teach someone else today?

Updated on January 17, 2017January 17, 2017BLOG LEADERSHIP

ONE QUESTION EVERY LEADER SHOULD BE ASKING

Regardless of your position, title or industry, leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. I believe this to be true. However, to grow as a leader, I believe their is one important element you MUST be doing as a leader regardless where you’re at in your career or organization. This one thing is something only you can do and can’t rely on others to do it for you.

It is a question you should be regularly asking yourself and it is: Am I investing in myself? This is a question of personal growth…about your personal growth. My mentor and leadership expert, John C. Maxwell states, there are 3 main factors that determine if and how you will invest in yourself. In his book, Good Leaders Ask Great Questions, Maxwell lists these factors as:

1. Your self-image: How you see yourself.
How do you view yourself? Would you be the type of leader you would want to follow? Do you serve others before serving yourself? Are you a positive person to be around or do people avoid you? This should be an easy question to answer…if you’re honest enough with yourself. If you were to describe yourself, what words would you use? What you don’t realize is how you view yourself determines how you will invest in yourself. And the way you view yourself will always match how much you invest in yourself. If you were to rate yourself as a 5 on a scale of 1 to 10, this also describes your willingness to invest in yourself and this will never change. Which explains why those with low self-esteem usually don’t make great investments in themselves because they feel like they’re not worthy of. Maxwell writes, “its not what you are that keeps you from investing in yourself; it’s what you think you are or are not. You will never be able to bet on yourself unless you believe in yourself.

2. Your dream: How you see your future.
I often ask people what their dreams are and I often hear, “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure” or sometimes even “I don’t have one”. If you don’t know what you want in life or how you want your future to look like, how do you know you’re on the right path in life, in your career, etc? Furthermore, if you’re not dreaming, how do you know what its going to take to achieve it. Maxwell writes, “The size of your dream determines the size of your investment. If your dream is large, you will invest in yourself to achieve it”. If you have no dream, you may not invest in yourself at all. Your dreams should fuel your desire to grow. I’m reading “Chase the Lion” right now by Mark Batterson and he writes, “You are one idea, one risk, one decision away from a totally different life. Of course, it’ll probably be the toughest decision you ever make, the scariest risk you ever take. But if your dream doesn’t scare you, it’s too small.” This is where your faith and how much you believe in that dream will fuel you.

3. Your friends: How others see you.
I once took the Leadership Circle Assessment – this is a powerful 360 assessment that assesses your creative competencies and reactive tendencies as a leader. It shows how you view yourself and compares it with how others view you in those same components. I was surprised to see how others viewed me, especially in areas where I scored myself low, they saw them as some of my greatest strengths and where I thought I was strong, they showed I needed some improvement in. It can be a highly beneficial tool to your personal growth to participate in these kinds of assessments because they can unlock the realities and raise your awareness. Author and Publisher of SUCCESS Magazine, Darren Hardy says,

“Picture where you are at in any area of your life, right now. Now picture where you want to be: richer, thinner, happier, you name it. Do you have it? The first step toward change is AWARENESS. If you want to get from where you are to where you want to be, you have to start by becoming aware of the choices that lead you away from your desired location. And become very conscious of every choice you make today so you can begin to make smarter choices moving forward”.

Use the people around you for the growth you need. The people around you and in your inner circle can be very valuable to your growth but you have to be ready to accept their feedback. If you can get feedback, USE IT, don’t get mad. Maxwell writes, “People need others to help them stay inspired and growing. Missionary Doctor Albert Schweitzer asserted, “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flames by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle our inner spirits”. If you have friends who light your inner fire, you are very fortunate’ they will make you want to keep investing in yourself and keep growing. If you don’t, find some, because nothing is more important for your potential as a leader than your daily personal growth.

This last one can be very challenging but it’s essential to take a look at your inner circle. Your potential as a leader is determined by those closest to you. This is the Law of the Inner Circle. Those around you, have influence over you whether directly or indirectly and how they see you can inspire you or bring you down. Its important to have those around you who will add to your investment in your own personal growth.

If you enjoyed this article and it has been helpful to you as a leader, be sure to sign up for my weekly Leadership Insights by clicking here.

If you would like to learn more about investing in your personal growth including information on how you can take the Leadership Circle assessment, be sure contact me by clicking here.